WE begin this week with an intervention by Mr. Kenneth Chioma Ugbechie, a highly-respected language activist: “Please note that ‘uplift’ is shorthand for ‘upliftment,’ ‘witch-hunt’ is shorthand for ‘witch-hunting,’ and ‘hive’ is shorthand for ‘beehive.’ Look them up in Desk dictionary, not listed in Pocket dictionary. Cheers!”

My response: Before the SMS came in, Ken, as media professionals all fondly call him, had called to inform me that, contrary to my declaration in this column last week, that ‘upliftment’ exists! He referred me to the World Book Dictionary where the word is contained. Stenography is no longer in vogue. Shorthand was popular during Pitman’s era—it is not relevant in this electronic age. So, it cannot be applied to current English.

With respect, celebrated political economist, I vehemently disagree on the grounds that such words belong to morphological history. Because of their obsoleteness arising from archival pedigree, they no longer conform to the contemporariness of the English language, which is supersonically dynamic. There are so many such outdated entries. The issue is not whether they exist or not, but their currency and relevancy in modern times.

The fact that such words exist in one obscure American dictionary or another does not confer correctness or acceptability on them. All the dictionaries and language reference books I have, particularly 2022 Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English (Advanced New Edition), online Grammarly.com and Dictionary.com, did not list ‘upliftment’!

Issuing from the above, I strongly believe that ‘upliftment’ is not right, anymore. Its continued usage is like saying that everything contained in the first comprehensive dictionary of the English language by Samuel Johnson, published in 1755, is still correct today! In the same breath, if the great lexicographer Noah Webster (1758-1843) had documented ‘upliftment’ in his time, it was the evolutionary and rudimentary period of the English language which explains its acceptability then. To now use it on his authority this time round will amount to lexical retrogression! Such words remind one of Shakespearean and Chaucerian days!

Well-researched reactions are welcome. Aburo mi, ‘uplift’ still stands! More constructive contributions are welcome, if you have a contrary view.

From The Guardian of October 2 comes the first set of ludicrous gaffes: “The Federal High Court, Abuja division (another comma) yesterday ruled that the President of the Federal Republic on (of) Nigeria….”

“The meeting, which took place behind closed-doors (closed doors—no hyphen) or the closed-door meeting….”

“The university teachers said yesterday that they declared the strike to register their displeasure over (at) Federal Government’s alleged refusal to pay their ‘earn allowance’.” Also, displeasure with someone….

We move from the specialized pages to general outlay: “…on the ground (grounds) that it was foisted on the population by the military.”

“UNIDO partners ministry on investment monitoring (investment-monitoring) platform”

“A multinational company would (will) like to dispose off (of) all vehicles below in her (on its) premises.” No commercialese and language feminization!

On the heels of The Guardian is THISDAY of October 1 which equally goofed right from its opening pages: “…despite letters it received from various subscriber associations (subscriber-associations) calling for additional three months (months’) extension.” Truth & Reason: ‘additional‘ is clearly otiose. By virtue of the ‘extension’ plea, the sentence will do without the word.

“I cannot tell you exactly right now what the cost implication will be because our rules are just reaching its (their) final stage in the SEC.”

“Ernst & Young sensitises operators on (to) FATCA”

“PETRA Coalition presents purpose driven (purpose-driven) leadership….” (Full-page advertisement by PETRA Coalition)

“A part of the departmental (department) store”

Still on THISDAY: “The Commission will continue…and shall (will) continue to impose sanctions (except if the sanctions are curiously optional!) for (on) all pre-registered New SIM cards purchased by our monitors.” (Full-page advertisement by the Nigerian Communications Commission) A modification: impose sanctions on networks (not SIM cards!) for all….

“While your emergence as governor of our beloved state in 2007 was taught (thought) to be a miracle….” (Full-page advertorial signed by Senator…& Co.) Names withheld!

Back-page round-up: “…has this year been subjected to one excuse after the other.” Behind the figures: one excuse after another

Last week’s edition of this medium terrorized the English language beginning from its Politics Page: “…speaks on his two years on (in) the saddle, zoning and his political ambition for 2027.”

“…said to have rented (rent) the air.” (Vanguard, October 30)

“…most of our laws are full of ambiguity that you need somebody to come and interpret at one time or the other.” No Business English in (formal) journalism: one time or another.

Daily Independent online of October 24 could not spell ‘threat’ among other blunders: “Divestment by ICOs, no treat to oil sector”

“An alumnus of the Yaba College of Technology, Nigerian Institute of Journalism, Ogba, and Lagos State University, Ojo, from where he holds degrees in Book Publishing and Journalism, respectively….” Yabatech and NIJ have not started awarding degrees yet. So, he holds diplomas in Book Publishing and Journalism and maybe just a degree from LASU! No accentuation, please.

“…who had worked at Post Express as Metro Editor….” History of the Nigerian Media: The Post Express

The last two offences today are from THE GUARDIAN, October 18: “Former NNPC employee arrested over (for or in connection with) pipeline vandalism” Now the story: “…who was sentenced to five years (years’) imprisonment for pipeline vandalization.” The Metro Section: pipeline vandalism (nothing like ‘vandalization’)!